


A Dumb Human Like You

by waitingfor_shiro (waitingfor_margo)



Series: A Dumb Human Like You [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Architecture Student Pidge, Architecture Student Shiro, Art Student Allura, Engineering Student Hunk, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Literature Student Keith, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Other, Pining Allura (Voltron), Pining Hunk (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Pining Pidge (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Smut, and everyone is dumb, art student lance, just everyone is pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingfor_margo/pseuds/waitingfor_shiro
Summary: Keith is gay enough for two so why should he be so lucky as to crush on someone who is into boys as well, right? Shiro is definitely straight, or not?Turns out his e-mail address answers the question.Meanwhile his friends struggle with their feelings just as he does





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I already talked about this fic idea on Tumblr, come talk to me there: https://sheith-on-ice.tumblr.com/

Keith pushed his fringe out of his face, his worn out copy of The Beautiful And Damned before him, and took a sip from his coffee. He had been sitting on his notes for his term paper since the morning and now it was 4pm and he had to admit he felt a bit hazy. 

Fitzgerald was one of his absolute favourites but turning page after page for references on how this particular author portrayed his character’s personal developments or lack thereof for hours was tiring to say the least. 

Keith lay his pen down, put the bookmark – a postcard that Lance had sent him when he had last visited his family at home – back between the pages and shut the book. He lovingly traced the cover with his fingertips. 

Then Keith stretched his arms above his head and yawned just when the door to his dorm opened. 

“Hey there, better keep that food container of yours closed, I don’t need to know that you didn’t deem it important to brush your teeth today, Kogane, I can smell it from where I stand”, Lance said without pausing to take a breath and said down on Keith’s bed, smirking.

Confused and a bit offended Keith breathed into his palm to see for himself and Lance chuckled. That bastard always pulled jokes like that simply because Keith refused cleaning his skin with a peeling before going to bed and using a sleeping mask like a certain Lance McClain. He did take hygiene seriously, thank you very much.

Lance obviously couldn’t live with being ignored for so many seconds so he started bouncing up and down Keith’s mattress and Keith glared at him, hoping Lance would hit his head on the wall. 

“You are even more squirrelly than normal, what’s up?”, he asked and used the headband around his wrist to put his hair up into a ponytail when Lance didn’t seem threatened by Keith’s famous death stare and only grinned happily at him in return – they really had been knowing each other for too long. 

“Did someone actually laugh at one of your jokes or why are you so excited?”

“Ha. Ha. No, Keith, nobody laughed at one of my jokes, ehm, I mean that wouldn’t excite me ‘cause it’s perfectly natural!”

“Right”, Keith smirked, leaning back in his chair. Lance huffed in annoyance.

“Okay can we be serious now? I have super good news! Well, super good for me. Uninteresting for you. But you have to be happy for me.”

“Now say it already, you jerk”, Keith got impatient.

“Okay, okay”, Lance leant forward for his good news.

“You know of Hunk and that weird, ugly girl Shay?”

“You mean his girlfriend who is pretty good looking and nice if you ask for my objective opinion? What’s with them?”

“They broke up!”, Lance squealed and jumped up and down on the mattress again.

“Woah, okay, I guess that really is good news for you. You have been pining for him since when? First day of college?”

“I first saw him on the third day, okay, and how can you not just – ugh – feel absolutely weak when he walks by? Those arms, oh god, I could swoon when he rolls up his sleeves”, Lance dramatically put his hand on his chest just above his heart and fell back onto the bed. 

“You did once when I remember correctly – or no! You just fell over a chair in the cafeteria and hit your head while staring at him!”, Keith laughed.

“Ugh! You are the worst friend in the world, mullet head! As if you were any better!” and with a horrible imitation of Keith’s voice he said: 

“Oh, Shiro is so awesome, he opened a glass of beans for me today!”

Keith went a dark red. 

“That was one time! And I swear nobody could have opened that damn thing!”

“Nobody but Mr. Shirogane with his big, strong hands, right?”, Lance smirked.

“Oh Shiro, please touch me with those big, strong hands of you!”

Keith sprang up and was on his bed in an instant.

“Oh Shiro, please allow me to dry hump your divine abs!”

“Shut up, you jerk!”, Keith tackled Lance down and that bastard just laughed.

Keith sat atop him and glared down at him.

“You dumbass, what if he came in now?”

“Come on, nobody spends their Saturday in. Nobody but your lame ass. Shiro’s probably in the gym bringing that hot bod of his to perfection.”

“Shiro is very dedicated to his studies, I believe he spends more time working than I do.”

“God help me, two maniacs!” Lance then pushed his hips up against Keith’s.

“Hey, get off of me. That is if you don’t want to get on me instead, if you know what I mean”, he wriggled his eyebrows.

“God, shut up”, Keith pushed himself up; he smiled though.

Lance had been his first and he had been Lance’s. They had known each other since they were kids. Growing up together and discovering that they both liked boys welded them together and once they were teenagers and constantly horny they found themselves more often than not making out. 

Taking each other’s virginities had somehow been the reasonable thing to do for them and Keith was glad they had done this together. They both trusted each other deeply and their yearlong friendship prevented them from feeling awkward afterwards. 

They simply knew that they would make a terrible couple. Keith had had a secret crush on Lance for a year in middle school and he was pretty sure that Lance had had a crush on him some time as well but it had worn off after some time and the feelings hadn’t come back.

Lance was a jerk and he was Keith’s best friend and nothing more. Keith wouldn’t trade what they had for anything in the world.

Though that didn’t prevent Lance from making sexual innuendos whenever he could and Keith didn’t mind. After all it was just for fun.

Keith stretched again and another yawn escaped him.

“Okay, okay, I get the hint, you worked your pretty ass off and now you don’t have enough energy left to deal with my charm. I’m going.”  
Lance pushed himself off the bed.

“Ah, just a few minutes ago my ass was lame and now it’s pretty? How the tables turn”, Keith grinned.

Lance stuck his tongue out at Keith and left the room. 

Keith was grateful for that, he liked Lance’s daily visits but he was really tired and wanted to take a shower before watching a movie or reading or whatever he felt like doing.

Which was sitting with his laptop on his bed and checking his e-mails.

He didn’t have any. Shiro had though. Yes, they shared an e-mail address. And that was entirely due to Shiro being a total technology grandma and not being familiar with anything that had to do with computers. (“But how do you survive in this world?!”)

So Keith had done the reasonable thing and offered to share his address until Shiro got around to provide one for himself which he didn’t seem too keen on. Keith didn’t have anything to hide and both of them trusted the other not to read their mails so he didn’t really mind. 

Plus it felt kind of intimate. Sharing something with your crush. _Oh god, I sound so pathetic,_ Keith put his face in his hands. He was in far too deep.

Closing his mailbox he found himself kind of in the mood of jerking of. He had nothing better to do and it would relieve some stress. Okay, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Shiro and his gorgeous smile and eyes and muscles and it put him on edge. He was rather sexually frustrated. Seeing your crush daily was doing nothing to change that.

Keith couldn’t get off without some visual stimulation though. Even if he was constantly thinking about Shiro didn’t mean he didn’t watch other men go at it and pretend it was him and his roommate.

Keith opened his browser and typed in the first few words that came to mind. He scrolled and scrolled, nothing really spiking his interest. Except some two minute excerpts from professional gay porn of which you would find the whole video only if you signed up on the website of the porn company. It was always the same. 

Well, fuck it. Keith opened the link to some gay porn site that had produced the video of which he had just seen some extract. Two young men fucking, one on the shorter side and being what the description referred to as “twink” and the other one being tall and muscular. 

Both had smooth skin, something Keith appreciated. He didn’t like chest hair which maybe had something to do with what he had seen when Shiro came into their room after a shower.

Soon enough a box popped open that said: _please create an account to continue to watch the video._

Keith typed in his e-mail address k.kogane98@gmx.com and confirmed that yes, he was at least 18 years old, not without rolling his eyes.

After clicking “ok” it took him a bit to understand that his registration hadn’t worked. 

_This e-mail address has already been used to verify an account._

For a few moments Keith just sat there with a frown on his face. Then, just when it dawned on him what exactly this message meant the door opened and Shiro entered their room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this story will maaaiiinly be about Sheith but the other pairings will get a lot of screentime (how do you call that in fics? Ah fuck it, you know what I mean) as well. Because I love Hance and Pidgura (I just made that up but how do you call that anyway) and want to write something nice for them. I hope to get all of their developments right and that nothing will seem too shallow.
> 
> I already planned to make this a series with a few oneshots for each of the pairings and a sequel which will be named "A Dumb Sequel Like You" so if you enjoy this story so far you can be hyped because there will be plenty more. I haven't decided yet how many chapters I'll write though. We'll see where it takes us.
> 
> Also I'm nonbinary (agender) myself so I was speaking of my own experiences a bit when writing that part about Pidge.

“No. Fucking. Way!” Lance had his mouth opened wide and obviously had no intention to close it any time soon. 

“Yes”, Keith groaned out behind the hand that was hiding his embarrassed face.

“Shiro walked in on you almost watching porn on a site he already logged into! Oh my god, this is pure gold, this is like the best story to tell at parties _ever_.”

“You’re not gonna tell anyone! It was mortifying! Just imagine this happening to you and Hunk!”

“That would be pretty awesome actually, I’d finally know that he’s into guys and that he’s into fucking, I mean, that he’s into fucking boys and if that wouldn’t be the best discovery of the year then I don’t know… I mean it must be great for you, right? I would have spared me the awkward part in which we won’t look at each other out of embarrassment and go straight to that fucking part if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you though. I can’t just go to Shiro like ‘hey, I just saw you like watching filthy videos of guys going at it, wanna do the same?’”

“ _Why not_? Look, you are making it so much more difficult for yourself, man, you need to relax a bit.”

“Haha, best joke you ever made, Lance. Learn to fucking relax yourself around the guy _you’re_ into and stop giving me shitty advice on _mine_ ”, Keith snapped at his best friend and immediately felt bad as he looked into Lance’s wounded puppy face.

“I’m sorry, Lance, I’m tired. And a bit frustrated. You know what happened after he walked in?”

*

_Keith snapped out of his shock as soon as he could and closed the browser on his laptop._

_“Hey Shiro, you’re back early. Didn’t you just leave to go study in the library about an hour ago?” Keith desperately hoped his voice didn’t sound as strained as he felt._

_Shiro stepped into the room, shrugging off his coat and scarf and hanging them up on the coat hook next to the door. He was tidy like that. He had placed a fucking_ coat hook _in their room just to hang up his stuff nicely._

_Keith was sure the thought of adding a doormat too had crossed Shiro’s mind as well some time but someone must have talked him out of it by reminding him that this was just a dorm room in college. Keith was thankful for them._

_“It was too crowded for my liking”, Shiro answered and sat down on his own bed, putting his hands behind his head and stretching his back.  
His grey pullover rose up and exposed a sliver of his taut, well-trained body. Keith licked his lips at the sight._ God damn it, you’re not some bitch in heat, _he thought to himself bitterly._

_“I swear, I’ve never seen so many people in the library in my whole life of college, not even during exam time. Your generation must be more determined”, he smiled at Keith._

_“What were you doing when I came here? You haven’t been studying the whole day, have you?”_

_Keith’s face grew hot both because yes, he had exactly done that and also because of what he would have done, given Shiro hadn’t turned up._

_“Ehm, I was just gonna watch a movie.” Not a lie._

_“Ah, nice. I could use some time to unwind as well. I mean I love my studies but there is only so much I can read about pillars in the ancient Greece before my head combusts”, he chuckled and Keith found it just damn unfair how he could be so nonchalantly cute and perfect and make Keith melt without noticing it._

_“Mind if I watch it with you? We haven’t really spent time together yet and I like to know the person I share a room with.” Shiro smiled warmly at him._

_“We could have a movie night. What were you going to watch?”_

*

Lance shook violently with laughter and Keith hoped he would choke on his own spit.

“Are you finished now?”, he asked dryly as Lance slowly calmed down, only some chuckles leaving his mouth from time to time.

“Because I haven’t even told the real reason for you to laugh like the most horrible person you are yet. Because to my horror he insisted on showing me Kill Your Darlings and of course it had to include a gay sex scene.”

Lance was back to laughing his soul out again. 

“He forced me to watch that while sitting next to him! And he commented on literally everything in the entire movie, just not this scene and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my whole life.”

“Oh my god”, Lance gasped and fell back on the bed, more uncontrollable laughter bursting out of him.

"The movie was good though”, Keith mused, having finally found the ridiculousness of that situation you could just laugh about.

“Phew”, Lance sighed after catching his breath again.

“I haven’t laughed that much in quite some time. Thanks, buddy”, he said, accompanied by some more tiny chuckles.

“Anytime”, Keith answered while rolling his eyes.

“Why are you always hanging out in my room anyway? Shouldn’t you try to woo your crush? Or get to know your roommate better? Watch some movie together? With a gay sex scene in it?”, Keith grinned.

“Stop it”, Lance gasped as a new wave of giggles overcame him. 

When he felt like he could talk normally again, he answered: “Hunk and Shay just broke up, I can’t just go over to him now and ‘woo’ him as you call it.”

“And about my roommate…He’s weird. Really close-lipped, always already out when I get up and when I go to sleep he has been in bed for hours already.”

“Firstly, your roommate is obviously a girl and secondly, it sounds more like she has a better sleeping pattern than you.”

“Wait, wait, wait, a _girl_? No way!” Lance looked dumbstruck.

“Yeah, her voice and her appearance in general show it clearly, god, you’re really unobservant.”

“That can’t be true…He, she never corrected me when I referred to her as a boy? God, now I’m confused…”

“Hm, that really does sound weird.”

Keith thought about that weirdness for a few seconds more until Lance threw a pillow at his head and opened the war.

***

The movie night had stuck with both Shiro and Keith and they had decided to do that more often now. They sat on Shiro’s bed, a respectable amount of space between them that they filled with snacks and Keith’s laptop stood in front of them on his desk. 

Although Keith’s crush on his roommate made him feel pretty nervous when spending time with him, especially if this involved him sitting on said roommate’s bed where Keith always longed to be, he enjoyed it enormously. 

Shiro was fun to be around, his strange humour was very charming and the little fun facts he let loose whenever they fit let him seem even smarter than Keith had deemed him anyway.

Shiro was grabbing one of the chocolate bars when Keith spoke.

“You know Pidge, right? I mean she’s just in her first year but she studies Architecture as well, doesn’t she?”

Shiro took a bite, chewed and swallowed before turning over to look at Keith and answering the question.

“I have a few courses with them, yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s a bit embarrassing but my best friend Lance and I, we didn’t agree about her. Lance is Pidge’s roommate and he thinks Pidge is a boy but I think it’s obvious that she’s a girl. Yet Lance said that she didn’t correct him when he called her a boy. Do you know why that is?”

Shiro’s facial expressions were a small miracle to Keith in that moment. When had begun to speak Shiro had looked at him sceptically but now his face kind of opened up into a variety of emotions: relief, understanding and something that looked like pain or sadness.

“Well, that is actually quite a difficult thing you brought up there and I’d be glad if you asked Pidge about it yourself as well but I think I should give you some information. It’s important that you know so you won’t hurt Pidge’s feelings. I’ve known them for a long time and they are important to me and I don’t want you to make a mistake that will make you both uncomfortable.”

Keith looked at Shiro questioningly.

“You might not have heard of that term but Pidge is nonbinary. That means they don’t identify as neither male, nor female. Although they have the genitals of one of those sexes”, Shiro continued as Keith opened his mouth to say something.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with their genitals and I hope you aren’t that tactless to ask them about the content of their trousers. It simply is a thing of the mind. Just as you know that you are a man and your mum knows that she is a woman, Pidge knows that they are neither. 

It took them a while to realise that though. They got raised as a girl only to realise that that wasn’t right. Gender and sex are two different things, Keith, and they don’t have to be similar. Gender is more of a social construct than anything else. Sex is biological, can’t argue with that but gender is what you actually feel like. 

I know that this is new to you and you don’t have to understand it but I ask you to respect Pidge. They are a good human and they often don’t even know themselves what they want but not you and not anyone else has the right to tell them that the path that they are choosing is wrong.

Also: Pidge’s pronouns are they/them. It means that whenever you refer to them without using their name, please don’t say that ‘she is there’ or ‘she does that’ but ‘they are’ and ‘they do’. It is important to them. You wouldn’t want to be called ‘she’ either, would you?”

Keith gulped. That was quite the lesson the hottest guy he knew had taught him there and he felt both a bit smaller at being lectured so thoroughly as well as a little turned on at Shiro’s protective side towards those he was close to. 

“Okay. I’ll let it all sink in. And I swear I would never make fun of Pidge or hurt her, fuck, I mean them on purpose!”

“I didn’t think that”, Shiro smiled reassuringly at him.

“But I had to make sure. I went to school with Pidge’s older brother Matt and since then have gotten close to them and their family. Pidge relies on me. 

Their parents don’t know about Pidge’s gender identity. Pidge changed their name to start anew. I’m not going to tell you their former name though, it was Pidge’s choice to abandon it.”

“That has to be tough, being alone with that discovery.” Keith didn’t actually know how it was to have family and not being able to tell them something this important but he didn’t have that much of a change in his entire identity to tell anyone anyway, did he?

“And her, sorry, their brother? Doesn’t he help them?” 

“I’m not even sure Matt knows about it. He is in Europe, spending a year abroad.”

Keith didn’t know why but this information pleased him. 

"And why was Pidge letting Lance call her, eh, them a boy when they aren’t one?”

“Well, I guess they were kind of glad he did? I know it sounds strange but before they changed their name and appearance to something more gender neutral everyone came up to Pidge referring to them as a girl and feeling that they obviously were one. 

When now someone thinks they are a boy I think it makes Pidge feel better about themselves, makes them feel like they at least managed to escape that label everyone was trying to put on them since they were born even if the people still don’t get it right. 

And I think they aren’t ready to tell everyone just yet. After all our world isn’t the safest place it could be and something like questioning your gender is so new to most people that they won’t embrace it. Many people react quite violently to those who are different”, Shiro smiled sadly.

Keith smiled sadly back. A crashing sound let him whip his head to the left. 

"Oh, we missed quite a bit of the movie”, he said confused. He had totally forgotten about it.

Shiro laughed. “It’s okay, I like talking to you. Just as much as watching movies.”

Keith melted.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have a huge amount of Hance fluff (Lance is in too deep and I am too) :)
> 
> The next chapter will probably focus a bit on Pidge and Allura as we haven't even met them yet and after that we'll see about the development of the pairings. 
> 
> Also I have made up my mind about all of their ages:
> 
> Pidge is 18, Keith and Lance are 19; the three of them are in their first year at college.  
> Hunk and Allura are 20, second year.  
> Shiro is the oldest, he's 21 and in his third year.

“I finally have a connection to Hunk!”, Lance loudly exclaimed as he burst into Keith’s room like it was his. And it kind of was, given how much time he had already spent here since college had started a month ago. 

“Hey Shiro”, came his belated greeting upon seeing Keith’s roommate sitting on his bed with a book in his hands.

“Hey Lance”, Shiro smiled kindly at him before going back to reading.

Lance turned his attention back to Keith, a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Haven’t you heard what I said? I know what to do now to get closer to him!”

Keith finally stopped searching for his favourite bandana to look at Lance instead. He wasn’t in a very good mood today, god knew why, and couldn’t really bring himself to feel happy for Lance for getting closer to his dream guy when Keith himself didn’t. 

Shiro was frustratingly nontransparent when at the same time being very inviting and open towards strangers. Keith had felt comfortable around him from day one but he had no idea what Shiro really thought of him. 

But that wasn’t the question here, now this was about Lance. Keith forced himself to smile.

“So, how?”

“His roommate, Andrew, is in my art class! I saw him going into Hunk’s room after obviously having a shower and so I asked him about Hunk today.”

“Ooohh, you already know where his room is? Nah, nah, aren’t we getting a bit stalker-ish?”, Keith smirked.

“What do you expect? We can’t all live so close to our crush!”

Keith’s eyes widened impossibly and if they could, they probably would have started to blink rapidly in red like signal lamps. Lance turned a deep red. None of them dared to look over at Shiro and see if he had heard what they said.

“Ahem… anyway, you know, Andrew said that Hunk is really passionate about cooking and baking and that he likes to study in that one café in town. There usually aren’t many students from college and Hunk always gushes about the amazing cakes they have. I could meet him there! Accidently, of course.”

Lance didn’t need a long time to fall into his excited tone again.

“Of course”, Keith smiled. With Lance grinning like the Cheshire cat it really was hard to not be happy for him. Even when he almost confessed to your crush for you. 

“So you’re planning on winning him over a piece of cake?”, Keith asked while starting to fold his clothes and put them back into his wardrobe from where he had all but tossed them onto the floor in order to find this damn bandana.

“Actually I have thought this through. I made a bombastic plan on how to get him. I’ll include this plan in my autobiography _“How The Tailor Threads The Needle”_ along with many others, so if you ever need advice I suggest you look into it. I may even be so nice as to send you a copy for free as I’ll make more than enough money with it. Hunk, who will be my husband by then, will be so proud-“

“Now spit it out already”, Keith interrupted him from behind a stack of shirts.

“Okay, okay. So I googled a bit and there is this place half an hour from here that you can charter for a few hours a day. They have a huge modern kitchen with everything you’ll need to cook or bake as well as a nice dining hall and a terrace to sit outside in a lovely garden. 

I haven’t actually chartered it yet as that would be a bit creepy without Hunk even knowing me by now but I plan on doing so as our first date. We’ll bring all the food we need and he’ll show me some of his favourite dishes and I’ll show him some Cuban speciality and we’ll have a nice dinner together that we both cooked in a lovely ambience. What do you think?”

This was totally unfair. How was Lance so good at this?

“This sounds absolutely perfect. I’m sure he’ll love it! Lance, I’m really happy for you, I hope this’ll work out.”

“Aw, Keithy, it’s been long since you’ve been so sentimental, come on let’s hug.”

Keith rolled his eyes but embraced Lance nonetheless. He had forgotten how comforting it felt to be held by someone he was close to. It felt safe and like home and Lance’s scent brought back many nice memories from their childhood. It had been a while since they last had been so close and affectionate with each other although they saw each other daily.

Keith caught Shiro’s gaze above Lance’s shoulder and he wore one of those unreadable expressions again that left Keith’s head reeling. 

They broke apart and Lance’s signature smirk was back on his face as he said: “And I know my plan is brilliant, I mean, it’s _my_ plan.”

Keith smacked his arm. “Now get out you jerk and plan your stupid perfect date”, he grinned.

“Alright”, Lance chuckled and opened the door to get out.

Halfway out he turned around again and said, nonchalantly: “Oh, and Keith. If you are looking for that red ninja scarf, it looks like it lies under Shiro’s bed.”

Then Lance left the room, smirking. He didn’t need to take a look back to know that there was now a blush spreading across Shiro’s handsome face and a very dumb expression on Keith’s.

***

Lance pushed the mahogany door open and was faced with a cute little room that fit not more than five tables. They all were made of mahogany and clad in beige lace table cloth with small floral ornaments on them. There were flower bouquets everywhere and an artificial tree went from the middle of the café up to the ceiling where it spread its crown. The floor was clad in synthetic turf. _“Gardens Of Altea”_ really was a special place. 

Lance spotted Hunk immediately which was due both to the size of the café and, well, _because it was Hunk_. He tried to calm down his rapid heartbeat while walking up to the table Hunk occupied. 

He had a few books strewn across it and was currently underlining a paragraph on a piece of paper while taking a sip from a steaming cup that might have been cocoa or coffee. In any case it had a sinful amount of cream on it which clung to Hunk’s upper lip as he sat the cup down. He absentmindedly ran his tongue across it to get even the last bit of sweetness and Lance gulped at the sight.

He tugged his shirt in place – some white V-neck that Keith swore Lance looked great in – and slid his hand through his hair before he got going again.

“Excuse me”, he started confidently, not giving away his nerves – he had learned to be a good actor when growing up with a lot of siblings; you had to establish yourself, never show your weakness – when he reached the table. Hunk looked up at him.

“I’m Lance McClain, we go to the same college; I’ve seen you around before. Someone recommended this place to me and I came to check it out but I’m not a fan of sitting alone in a café, do you mind if I sit down next to you?”

He delivered this explanation with his most charming smile and cocked out his hip in a way he found to be sexy just because while waiting for an answer. His heart didn’t stop hammering away in his chest.

Hunk smiled up at him warmly and gestured for Lance to do as he asked. “Of course. I like company. I’m Hunk Garrett.”

Lance felt giddy and suppressed the excited ‘I know’ that was threatening to burst free as he sat down opposite of Hunk who tried to collect all his notes as fast as he could.

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that, I don’t need the table.”

“It’s okay, I was going to take a break anyway”, Hunk smiled reassuringly back at Lance.

He grabbed at a worksheet that looked a lot like something Lance had learned in physics class but had forgotten directly after the test again. God, he had hated physics. That was something for the smart kids, not for him. It made a funny feeling spread in his belly as Lance thought that Hunk wasn’t just handsome and kind but also smart. God, he was so perfect.

“What are you studying?”, Lance asked, genuinely interested.

“Mechanical Engineering”, Hunk said as he put his stuff back into his bag. 

“It doesn’t really sound exciting to most people but I love all the possibilities it gives me. I have theory and practice, the plan and the end product. I am going to be the guy who turns your ideas into reality”, he grinned.

 _Oh my god, if only you knew how right you are_ , Lance thought and had to mentally slap himself to stop his eyelids from dropping lower. 

“After I have my master degree I’d love to work in the aerospace sector, you know, designing and manufacturing and innovating spaceships and satellites. The universe always fascinated me.”

“Oohh, so you’ll help make it possible to travel distant stars and find aliens and stuff like that?”, Lance asked enthusiastically.

“Haha, well, I think that lies far ahead in the future but maybe I can do something there”, Hunk chuckled.

“Well, I’m sure you will be a great aerospace engineer”, Lance smiled lovingly at Hunk.

“And it _does_ sound exciting if you talk about it like that”, Lance answered. 

“I love it when people are passionate about what they are doing.”

 _Would he also be passionate if he did_ me? _I bet_ , Lance’s brain interrupted again. He groaned inwardly.

“So Lance”, Hunk began and Lance felt a shiver run down his back at Hunk saying his name.

“What are you passionate about?” and took all of Lance’s willpower to not say ‘you’.

"Well, the universe always fascinated me as much as you. Endless space, endless possibilities, that romantic view, you see. I dreamed about being a pilot when I was little but my marks turned out to be not good enough and I found another passion on the way. Art. It gave me more of what I wanted, you know?”

“Ah”, Hunk smiled at him again. He had a variety of smiles that he chose from, one more beautiful than the last but Lance felt that this one was a smile that gave him a feeling of understanding and companionship, as if through his smiles Hunk communicated how close you had gotten to him.

“I understand. I never had a very creative side, well, outside of the kitchen.”

“You cook?”, Lance asked, glad that he finally got information from Hunk that he knew. It would be awkward to take it with him through their developing relationship until Hunk finally told him. And it was essential that Lance knew it from Hunk, otherwise his brilliant date plan would be in danger.

“Yeah, my mum taught me. I always found it amazing what she came up with but you can clearly see that anyway.”

Hunk looked guiltily down at his body, especially his protruding belly. He obviously felt uncomfortable about it.

“You’re not trying to tell me you don’t like how you look, are you?”, Lance raised both eyebrows.

Hunk looked shyly up at him.

“Well, I’m not built as well as you and I know that that’s my fault. I should really make a diet but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m haven’t got such a strong will”, he sighed.

Lance felt appalled. 

“But you are beautiful!”, he burst out.

Hunk looked over at him with round eyes, clearly confused. Lance felt his face grow impossibly hot. _God, I’m so stupid, so stupid._

“Look, your body is perfectly fine. A little chub is good, it’s soft; there are many guys, ehm, and girls who like that. You don’t have to change simply because you think others expect you to.  
Maybe your willpower isn’t that strong because you don’t really want to lose weight but think that others do. Your willpower clearly is strong when it comes to your studies. That is something that really is important. You should focus on that fact. You work hard when you believe it will be worth it. Don’t try and fit into a size smaller when it doesn’t do anything for you. 

I certainly like how you look and talking to you is really fun. So please don’t feel bad about such a small thing. You are amazing.”

Lance had let that all out in a breath, thinking _fuck it_ and going for it because how wrong could it be to comfort your crush? But now that he thought about everything he said it did sound a bit like a confession. God, he was busted.

Hunk blushed. _Oh my god, I made Hunk blush._

“Thank you, Lance. Really, thank you. Nobody ever explained it to me like that. My weight had always been something that made me feel self-conscious around others and although that won’t change overnight I think I can begin and rethink it all now and maybe start feeling better about my body than I did before. God, I just met you but you helped me more than any of my friends and family members in 20 years. I feel like I owe you a lot”, he let out an embarrassed laugh.

Lance couldn’t believe his ears and before he knew it he said: “then go out with me.”

 _Fuck._ Another outburst without asking his brain beforehand in under five minutes. That was a new record.

“Just hanging out for an evening, I swear I’ll make it worth your while”, he explained to a yet again dumbstruck Hunk.

“Okay, of course. I don’t see how I’ll make it up to you by just hanging out but alright. I look forward to it. You are great to be around, Lance.”

Lance’s heart swelled at that and before his throat constricted any further from joy, he said: “Okay, how about Friday night? I’ll pick you up at 6?”

“That sounds great”, Hunk answered and smiled his widest and happiest smile of the afternoon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering about the rating: the smut will come. Just be patient. We'll work up to it.  
> Also in the next chapter we will have some Sheith again, don't worry.

“Ahem.”

Lance looked up from his phone where he had been scrolling through his Instagram for the past half hour. In front of him stood Pidge, a frown on their face.

“Hey, what’s up?”, he asked, propping himself up so he sat with his back against the headboard of his bed.

“Um, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah? I guess? What’s the matter?”

Pidge usually wore of a kind of stoic fuck-it expression but right now they looked pretty nervous and vulnerable which resulted in them seeming even tinier than they actually were.

“You know Allura, right?”, they then asked quickly.

“Ah, you mean that super-hot babe that’s in my art class?”, Lance exclaimed excited. Yes, he was committed to Hunk but he did appreciate beauty in all its forms. It had taken him a bit to realise that though. Where guys usually first thought they were straight before finding out that they were also into their own sex, well, with Lance it had been the other way round. Lance didn’t do normal.

“She’s not some ‘super-hot babe’!”, Pidge scolded Lance disgusted. 

“She’s a beautiful and strong woman and she doesn’t deserve being degraded to an object by someone like you.”

“Ah, okay I get it”, Lance grinned mischievously.

“You have a crush on her.”

“I haven’t-“

“It’s okay, I won’t tell her, I’m not that mean although you probably think I am. I don’t know what I did to deserve you giving me the what-a-wanker gaze but I’m deeply wounded by it.”

Pidge rolled their eyes.

“Oh my god! That was the original Keith Kogane ‘Lance is being cute but I’m going to play it like I am annoyed by him’ eye roll! From the curve of your eyebrows down to your flaring nostrils! Oh god, I need to tell Keith! I should have filmed it!”

He excitedly unlocked his phone.

“Wait, Keith? Shiro’s Keith?”

Lance immediately stopped what he was doing. If he was a cat his ears would have perked up.

“ _Shiro’s_ Keith? Is there something I should know?”

“Well, he’s Shiro’s roommate, isn’t he?”, Pidge answered quick as a shot. It made Lance even more suspicious.

“I know you are hiding something from me, little one. I will let you go this one time. Don’t feel safe though, I will come on to you when the occasion calls for it.”

Pidge sent him an unimpressed stare.

“What is now with Allura? Should I tell her how amazing you are at rolling your eyes and accusing your roommates of being dicks? Or what do you expect from me?”

“I don’t need you to do anything”, Pidge huffed.

“Oh come on. Don’t be so proud and ask for help already. Nothing wrong with that. We’re sitting in the same boat, actually. Only difference is that my crush doesn’t sit in the same lectures as you. But I’m sure there is still something you can do for me when I put in a good word for you with Allura”, Lance winked.

Pidge crossed their arms in front of their body and huffed out a short “fine”.

“Great. So what exactly do you want me to do?”

***

“’Llura, put your dirty briefs into the laundry basket already! It looks like shit around here!”, Natasha shouted from the bathroom.

Allura rolled her eyes as she grabbed her cloths from the floor. One of her roommates was a tidiness maniac and the other one a slut. She didn’t exactly like the atmosphere in here.

A knock sounded from the entrance door. 

“Hey.” A tall and lanky guy with a wide cocky grin stood in front of Allura.

“Yes?”

“I’m Lance and I’m here to invite you to come out with us tonight.” His cocky grin didn’t disappear, if anything it grew wider.

“Um, sorry but I’m not interested okay, you’re not exactly my type.” God, this was awkward.

“Oh! No, no, um, I wasn’t going to go out with you, this amazing piece of ass is somebody else’s already but you can still feel flattered because you are going to hang out with the coolest group on campus”, he downright beamed now.

“Um, who are you again?”, Allura felt like in Candid Camera.

The beam faltered slightly.

“I’m Lance. Lance McClain, I’m studying art, just as you.”

“Ah yes! I’ve seen you around.”

Lance was back to beaming again.

“That’s right, not easy to forget that face. Anyway, my best friend and I are having a party together with some of our friends tonight and you are invited.”

*

_“I’m so booored”, Lance flopped down on Keith’s bed. Like he had done so many times before already._

_Nobody said life in college would be so dull”, came his muffled voice from where his face was buried in Keith’s pillow._

_“Don’t drool on my pillow or you’ll regret it”, Keith absently shouted from where he was reading at his desk._

_Suddenly Lance sprang up._

_“We should have a party!”_

_Keith looked up._

_“When was the last time we did that? College is supposed to be one big party and we didn’t have a single one since we started here! That’s a shame!”_

_“I don’t think you got the concept of college right…”, Keith replied._

_“Oh come on, Keith! I know how wild you get on the dance floor! When was the last time, huh? We’ll invite Shiro and Hunk and have something to drink and just unwind.”_

_Keith had to admit that sounded rather compelling._

_"Just the four of us? You and Hunk and me and Shiro? With alcohol? That doesn’t sound like it would go down too well. That sounds an awful lot like drunk confessions and that’s my only true fear. That’s what my dementor would look like. You know that. And besides, Shiro is the only one able to buy any alcohol and I don’t want to ask him for that favour. I’m not sure he would be too happy about that.”_

_Just when he had finished Shiro came in._

_“Hey Shiro! What about we’re having a party this weekend? Can you bring booze?”, Lance promptly asked and Keith sent him a death glare._

_“Of course! It’s been ages since I went out”, Shiro smiled._

_Lance looked pointedly at Keith._

_“Hey, who is invited? Do you mind if I bring Pidge?”_

_“Not at all, I had planned to take them with us anyway. That’ll be me, you, Keith, Hunk, Pidge and Allura from my art course then.”_

_“I look forward to it.”_

*

“Will it just be guys though?”, Allura asked sceptically.

“No, no. Well. It’s a bit complicated I guess, I don’t know how-“

“Okay, Lance, sorry but I have a bit of stuff to do and-“

“No, wait.” Allura looked questioningly at him.

“Pidge will be there.” Allura looked even more questioningly.

“They are really smart, I mean they are studying Architecture, you have to be smart for that, right? And I guess you could call them pretty, I mean I’m not into them, I have a crush on someone else but objectively-“

“Okay, okay stop before you break a sweat. I’ll come”, Allura smiled sympathetically at him. 

“No need to try and set me up with anyone, I can enjoy myself without someone to make out with, okay? I’m not that shallow that I only go to parties to get laid. I simply asked because girls are better company. But I’m curious now. So, I’ll come.”

“You won’t regret it”, Lance grinned. He would never have admitted it but he was relieved Allura had saved him the rest of his speech.

“And just for your information: my friends and I are the best company you can possibly have, any girl you know is nothing against us.”

Allura smirked. 

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Lance is the worst wingman ever


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only Sheith here

Keith stumbled through Lance’s and Pidge’s dorm room, dizzy from the fair share of shots he’d had with the others a while ago. It really was pretty small for eight people to comfortably fit in. 

Pidge and Allura were sitting on Pidge’s bed, Pidge with her legs crossed and shyly looking up at Allura who was currently gesturing and talking animatedly. Her cheeks were rosy. She seemed to become the chatty type when drunk.

Hunk sat on Lance’s bed, leaning against the wall, and looked amused at Lance’s dancing technique. Lance was quite the…extravagant dancer. One who needed a lot of space to unfold – quite literally – freely. 

And that was not the best thing to do in a small room built to contain two people. His arms and legs often glided through the air and bumped into some of the furniture. 

Lance could in fact dance decently. He just abandoned all of the memorised movements in favour of letting lose when drunk. Then nothing could stop him and from time to time some of the other party goers ended up getting slapped in the face.

But who Keith was looking for was – Shiro. Shiro, who stared quite intensely at Keith when he crossed the room. It made him feel even hotter than before, his face already flushed. 

Keith always felt incredibly warm when having drunk alcohol. He had already pulled up his t-shirt at the front and tied it into a knot so at least his belly wasn’t covered by irritating fabric.

Shiro sat on the only chair in the room, with his back to the desk. Keith felt a bit bold and in an attempt to look sexy he glided over to Shiro and slid onto the table top. 

It was an unfamiliar feeling being able to look down to meet Shiro’s gaze. Normally _he_ was the small one and rather happy with that; Keith liked tall men.

“Hey there, big one”, Shiro teased as he looked up.

Keith grinned at him. It felt good acting confident around Shiro, not being a blushing mess. Which he returned to when Shiro leaned up and grabbed his hand.

Keith’s heart nearly stopped in his chest and his breath left him. Then Shiro turned his hand so he could have a look at Keith’s wrist. Oh.

“It is not life that’s complicated, it’s the struggle to guide and control life”, he read out loud. “When did you get this tattooed?” 

“When I turned 18. I had just finished reading This Side Of Paradise and this quote stuck with me. I felt as I would from then on go my own way, that this line could guide me. There is so much truth in Fitzgerald’s writing. He is a genius with words.”

Keith somehow couldn’t stop talking now that he had begun. Someone had asked him about his passion – no, not someone; _Shiro_ – and he felt like letting Shiro into his little world. Letting him understand what was spurring him on.

“I have loved reading since I was a kid, practically since I could. Anything I could get my hands on, really. But only in my teenage years did I discover _classy_ literature”, Keith chuckled and Shiro smiled warmly in an understanding and encouraging way.

Keith continued: “classy and deep. What is most important to me in a story isn’t the plot, or the location where it takes place. Not even the genre. 

Give me a trashy zombie apocalypse and an alien invasion at the same time and combine it with a cheesy love story between the leader of the human defence squad and an experimental human-alien hybrid – as long as the characters are complicated, as long as the characters have a realistically weird and funny and tragic personality in a way you can feel so clearly as if it was your best friend you are reading about – then it can still become the best book of all time.”

Keith halted as he saw Shiro look at him in that strange way once again that Keith couldn’t place at all. It was so fascinating and at the same time frustrating and it certainly was the booze that made him relax enough to ask:

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Shiro pulled his lips up into a small smile. 

“I don’t know, it’s just…you seem so different right now. So open. Whenever we talk, what to my chagrin doesn’t happen very often, about silly little things, nothing important, you don’t necessarily seem distanced but…not entirely transparent either.”

At Keith’s confused look he hastily continued: “I mean not that you are transparent now, nobody is, fuck, I don’t know how to put it but I feel like you are more open to connect with me right now. God, that sounds silly.”

Shiro put his face into his left palm, looking up at Keith sheepishly through his white bangs and Keith felt his ears turn red.

“When you talk about the things you love, about important things, things that really matter, you are very different than normal.   
You aren’t sarcastic or witty – both things I find very charming in their own way about you – but in moments like now you look so happy and passionate and full of love and god, it’s a beautiful sight.”

Keith felt his face burn. Takashi Shirogane would make him melt into a slimy mass on the floor of Lance’s dorm room and there was nothing he could do to stop him. _Had Shiro just called him beautiful??_

“Uh, ehm”, Keith didn’t know what to say at all. 

“And I totally agree about what you said about characters in books”, Shiro saved his ass.

“The right person – although fictional – can change the whole book into something entirely different, they can make the story their own, can form it independent of the author. This is something so powerful.”

Keith’s eyes lit up.

“Exactly! When I write it’s as if my characters slip through my fingers at some point. They grow up and do their own thing. I guide them until they don’t need me anymore. A bit like having children.”

Keith smiled a small, kind of shy and at the same time secret smile, hopeful and sparkling.

“Do you want to have children one day?”, Shiro asked him and it threw Keith completely off guard.

“Um, I, well-“

“That was rude to ask, it’s something private, I’m sorry”, Shiro shook his head.

“If, by chance, you feel like showing some of your stories to someone else”, He shyly looked up at Keith, “I would love to read them.”

Keith was a bit embarrassed at letting that slip. He hadn’t really thought about telling anyone he attempted to be a writer himself before and now Shiro just knew.

“I don’t know”, he stammered but Shiro shook his head again.

“It was just an offer. Your choice. I would never judge, hell, I can’t even write a postcard to my mum”, he smiled a very crooked smile, eyebrows raised and Keith had to laugh.

“Okay”, Keith said, still not really convinced it was something he wanted but trusting Shiro to not laugh at him for his hobby. And that was something.

Shiro slid a hand through his fringe and besides “ _oh my god he’s so sexy I want to die_ ” Keith had another thought as well. 

“What is it with your hair?” Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right way to phrase it.

“I mean your fringe. I didn’t think you were old enough to grow white already.”

Shiro laughed a little laugh and said: “yeah, well, it was the result of a bet between me and Matt that I lost. His stake was to shave his head so I guess he would have suffered a lot more than I did. Besides, all my friends said I’d look good with it so I kept it like that.”

Shiro let his fingers glide through his white hair again, this time a bit more thoughtful, sceptical even.

“You do”, Keith managed to say as casually as for him possible with a crush as big as Russia and self-control in his boozed state as small as Luxembourg. 

Somehow in this moment the little bubble both of them had been floating in burst when Lance came crashing over to them shouting: “Let’s daaaaaance” and dragged Keith with him.

Keith liked dancing, also liked dancing with Lance and the both of them showed off some of their silliest moves thy had perfected over the years while the others watched.

Shiro was back looking at Keith in that strange way that was not at all strange – had anyone else looked, they would have seen exactly what this look meant. Only Keith seemed to be unable to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you accuse me of? Manipulating the characters into liking the same stuff as me?? You're absolutely right.  
> Fitzgerald is just amazing and you all need to read him and yes, Keith has tattoos, fight me.
> 
> This was the Sheith I promised but we'll see more of that little dorm room party and how it went for the others in the other chapters so stay tuned.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here have the first bit of smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, that chapter was really hard to write as I just watched the episode of Glee in which they take leave of Finn/Cory and now listen to Seasons Of Love on repeat - but not to the Glee version they released officially but an unofficial one in which Cory sings too and the line he sings in that is "the way that she died" and that makes me so incredibly sad and that's not the emotion to put into this chapter so sorry if I failed here, but then you know why :'(

Keith awoke with a horribly dry mouth as well as a full bladder. Groaning, he rolled onto his side to get up when he felt another body beside him.   
He quickly turned his head and looked at Shiro’s sleeping face. Keith nearly panicked. Oh my god, what happened last night?? He tried to skim his memory for any helpful information.

*

_Keith and Shiro stumbled through the door to their room together. Lance had insisted on more shots and Keith felt ready to fall into his bed and never get up again. Shiro seemed to think the same._

_“Shirooooo, tha’s my bed”, he lulled when Shiro sank down onto the first soft surface he could find._

_“Hmpf”, came the reply, muffled from Keith’s pillow that Shiro began drooling onto. Normally that would have been Keith’s biggest dream but now he just wanted to sleep himself._

_“You’re unb’lieve’ble”, Keith grumbled, trying to roll a very passive Shiro over onto the one half of the bed._   
_He made a whining noise when Shiro did nothing to help him._

_“Shirooooo, wanna sleeeeeep.”_

_“Then lie down”, Shiro groaned and Keith tried to climb onto the bed without crushing the other man._   
_He carefully put his body down next to Shiro, precariously close to the edge of the bed._

_“Come here”, Shiro’s deep voice came floating over to Keith and made him shiver as Shiro rolled onto his side to face him._   
_Keith shuffled a bit closer and found himself face to face with his crush, their noses mere millimetres apart and Keith held his breath as they stared into each other’s eyes._

_“Close your eyes”, Shiro whispered, his eyelids fluttering closed._   
_Keith tried to relax and did as he was told, Shiro’s breath fanning over his face._   
_It took him a while to let go but when he felt Shiro’s breathing slowing down as he fell asleep, Keith let the tiredness he felt himself get to him and peacefully he too drifted off to sleep._

*

It was embarrassing but remembering this incident now made Keith think that it had been one of the single most arousing things that ever happened to him.   
Shiro’s face so close, his voice so low and deep, both of them sharing a bed. 

Keith couldn’t sit here any longer, staring at Shiro like that. 

A look at the clock told him that it was quarter past six. On a Sunday the communal showers should be empty at that time. And Keith was in need of a shower. After a pee.  
He quietly got up off the bed and grabbed a towel and clothes to change into before heading off to the bathroom.

***

As Keith got into one of the showers, his naked feet making a tapping sound on the cold tiles, he couldn’t stop thinking about last night and how he had talked so freely to Shiro, how being around him felt more and more natural as if they had known each other for a long time. 

The warm spray of the water on his skin felt like heaven, his muscles aching from the last weeks of stressful work and he used his hands to glide over the tense spots and rub over them while the soothing fluid ran over his body.

Keith couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and imagining his hands to be Shiro’s big ones, his fingers being long and thin though.   
It was frustrating how every other thought turned into one of his roommate but here under the showerhead, naked, Keith felt that it was more excusable.

His hands slowly wandered over his skin, one to his chest to let his fingers glide over his nipples whereas the other one dipped lower and lower to encircle his half hard cock. It didn’t take that long to bring himself to full erection, slow and languid strokes being enough.

Actually that kind of friction was the best for him. Gentle, tentative touches drove Keith crazy; fast and rough was welcome as well from time to time but this way he was left breathless in the end, orgasms drawn out longer and more intense. 

A cool puff of air from behind made him shiver as he worked himself, his hair standing on end. It felt as if Shiro had come to stand behind him, strong and tall, leaning down to whisper lowly into his ear.

“ _you look so happy and passionate and full of love and god, it’s a beautiful sight_ ”, Shiro’s words from yesterday came back to him, making Keith moan.  
In his imagination Shiro was stroking his hair and nibbling on his neck while continuing to whisper things like “ _so good for me_ ”, or simply “ _beautiful_ ” in his ear and Keith shivered again, feeling his pleasure build.

The hand on his nipples went down to stroke over his balls, the head of his cock, down to his hole to circle it. 

Would Shiro love fucking him, shoving his dick into Keith’s butt crack to tease him before giving him what he wanted? Keith let out a strangled moan again, louder this time. He got closer to the edge and his mind was getting dirtier and dirtier by the second to help finish him off.

Shiro would glide his long cock through the sweat on Keith’s back, making him writhe, chuckling dirtily into his ear so Keith would shiver.  
“ _You want it? You want me to fuck you? Me you scream out in pleasure and forget your own name?_ ”, his voice was so deep and gravelly and just the sound of pure sex and Keith had to gather up all of the control he had left to not speed up his hand on his dick. It would be worth it.

“Yes”, Keith heard himself pant out, as if Shiro really was here with him.

“ _Good boy_.”

Shiro pushed in with one slow thrust and Keith gasped as he spread his cheeks with one hand and circled a finger around his rim. 

He was so desperate to be filled, too long since he had last felt this and Keith pushed in a finger as Shiro began thrusting deeper in his mind’s eye.

Keith knew he was on the brink of coming when his legs began to tremble slightly and he leaned his forehead against the cold tiles of the shower stall.

Little gasps left his mouth as he got closer and closer and then suddenly Shiro’s voice sounded in his head once more, saying “come here” the way he had last night, rough from sleep and his intense half lidded eyes trained on Keith.

And he came in long spurts, stroking himself through it, an orgasm like little electric shocks to his cock and Keith kept stroking until he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore, leaning heavily against the wall, panting.

After his orgasms Shiro was usually gone from his mind for a while. It was quite unromantic, really. How through the day Keith would imagine him cuddling up against Shiro’s chest, kissing his chin as they lay in bed at night, or how they sat curled up in a blanket in front of the television, sharing lazy kisses every now and then, yet when he masturbated and he thought of Shiro fucking him passionately – afterwards he would be gone.

When he returned to his and Shiro’s room, closing the door behind himself, Shiro had gone to lie in his own bed again. The sight made Keith’s heart ache in a way he didn’t really understand.

Why would he be sad because his roommate slept in his bed? It was the right thing to do, right? It wasn’t as if they were a couple after all, as if Keith’s fantasies were real. Keith sighed silently and stood there a few seconds more before he decided that he couldn’t go back to sleep.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most emotional chapter I've written so far, enjoy some Hance angsty talk

“Phew!” 

Lance flopped down next to Hunk, panting heavily.

“Danced enough?”, Hunk asked with an amused smile playing on his lips. 

“For now, yes”, Lance retorted, his eyes challenging, making Hunk laugh.

With a thump Lance let his head fall against the wall.

“Woah, dude, that sounded rather harsh, you won’t want brain cells to die”, Hunk said it with a worried expression on his face as Lance just sat there, slumped, not cursing in pain. He wore an expression of disinterest and sadness. Hunk couldn’t believe that he had laughed and joked only a few minutes ago.

Lance sighed.

“It’s not as if that would change anything. I’m already dumb, no harm done.”

It was said with such indifference that Hunk was left speechless.

“Lance, where does that suddenly come from?”, he asked, leaning over to the other boy.

“You don’t seem to have much self-confidence when you can just say that.”

Lance turned to face Hunk, a stern expression on his face.

“That’s far from the truth. I have so much confidence I almost drown in it. I just know myself. I know what I’m good at and what I’m not and I don’t need to lie to me about that.”

Hunk wasn’t really able to cope with this new Lance and didn’t know what he could do to make him feel better again. Better about himself.

“If you really believe that then you just proved that you don’t know anything at all. You are clever, Lance. From what you’ve shown me so far, you have more brain than many people I know.”

“No, no, Hunk. You don’t really know me, okay? What you’ve seen is me throwing myself at people who _are_ clever. I surround myself with those I admire to make others believe I’m like them. And that’s a totally different thing.”

“I don’t believe that. At all. I don’t think Pidge here or Shiro, or _Keith_ think that you are less than them. I hang out with you because they like you, not to make themselves look better or whatever you think it is they are doing. You are friends.”

“Yeah, maybe they like me. For my stupid jokes and easiness and because you can have a good time with me from time to time. But not because of my IQ.”

Hunk felt like he was going around in circles. He needed some way to get through to Lance.

“But you are here, with us, in college. Not many people succeed in doing that. Alone the fact that you study shows that you’ve got what it takes.”

“I’m studying fucking _Art_. You don’t need straight A levels in every subject to get there. It’s not as if I did something useful, something to make my parents proud like my siblings.”

Hunk had a feeling with this they at least got somewhere. He made a sad face at Lance who was still so stubborn and looked so angry and it hurt Hunk in a way he couldn’t quite describe.

Grabbing Lance’s hand he tried again.

“This isn’t true, Lance. Not everyone can make art. Not everyone has this creativity to express themselves and it is a gift that you have it. Art is another form of intelligence; there are so many different types of intelligence. You have to find _your_ way, it doesn’t help to compare yourself to your siblings.”

Lance looked at him and Hunk couldn’t really tell what he was thinking of what Hunk was saying. 

“And when your parents aren’t proud of what you have achieved so far then they are the dumb ones, not you.”

Lance drew his hand away as quickly as he could.

“Who are you to insult my parents like that! You don’t know anything! There are so few people as decent as my parents and I’m so lucky to be their son and to having gotten raised by them.”

Lance was expressing pure hurt and disappointment now, his eyes a clear and unwavering blue that cut through Hunk and made him feeling instantly guilty.

“I didn’t want to insult anyone, Lance. I’m sorry, I just wanted to make you feel better. You seem to be really close with your family. I am too. Maybe you want to tell me about your parents?”, he smiled hopefully at Lance.

As it seemed to be the normal outcome this evening though, Hunk didn’t succeed in coaxing a positive reaction out of Lance once again. Instead a swell of tears break free and ran down Lance’s face before he began to sob heavily.

Helpless Hunk looked at his friend who had bend over to put his face into his hands.

He scooted closer to Lance and wound his arms around the other boy, pressing him against him in a tight hug. Lance snuggled up to him and laid his head into the crook of

Hunk’s neck, his nose running along the fine hairs there and Hunk shivered slightly.

Hunk pressed his face to Lance’s and his nose found its way into brown locks that smelled surprisingly good. Of vanilla and peaches and something harsher that he couldn’t quite place.

He let his nose skim through the hair and breathed in Lance’s scent, having a funny feeling in his stomach as he did so.

“It’s okay”, he whispered into Lance’s ear and his thin body shook with the unexpectedness of it as well as because of a new wave of sobs.

“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

Hunk traced his large hands over Lance’s slim form. Up over to his neck and back down again to halt short over his rear. It took a while but slowly Hunk could feel Lance relax into his touch and it was a relief to know that Lance trusted him, that he could make Lance make feel better.

After a few minutes more Lance slowly pushed against Hunk to make him lose his tight grip on Lance’s back. He pulled back, his face downcast and when he looked up Hunk gulped.

His eyes were so round, the blue blurred and deep and Hunk had never seen Lance so lost (well, he hadn’t known him for long after all). Everything Hunk wanted was to comfort him.

“Um, you don’t have to say anything. I will be here to listen if you want to, but I won’t pressure you. If you don’t want me to then I won’t say anything at all, I’ll just listen if you want to talk.”

Lance nodded and then said in a small voice: “You are one of the few amazing people this earth has produced; I can feel that, I knew that from the start and I am so lucky I got to meet you.”

Some more sobs left him, more tears trailing down his high cheeks, his skin glistening golden in the light and Hunk knew he’d describe this sight as beautiful. It was raw and sad but oh so beautiful.

The both of them sat side by side, just looking at each other for many minutes more, just giving the other this feeling that they were here together and that nothing was required by them.

Then finally Lance took a deep breath and sighed before he began to speak.

“I really want to tell you. I trust you and I guess I have to get it out or I’ll explode”, he shivered.

Just before he began to speak again another stream of tears made him blink, face scrunching up in pain and pure sadness again and Lance tried to get his breathing under

control again now that tiny uncontrolled sobs wracked his body again.

“It’s ab- it’s about my dad”, he finally got out as Hunk rubbed over his back, his other hand rubbing away new tears off Lance’s cheeks.

“He died”, he croaked and Hunk’s mouth dropped open.

“It’s two years already though. So it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay”, Hunk said. He knew what Lance meant. But just because time had passed by didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“You’re right”, Lance said with a steadier voice.

“It’s so not okay. Today would have been his second day of death. And I just forgot.”

Hunk followed Lance’s gaze over to a clock on the opposite wall. It was almost 2 in the morning. Now he understood the sudden change in his mood.

“Lance, this is okay. People forget sometimes. I know you feel bad now because you feel you owe him but forgetting the day he died isn’t what counts. It counts that you will always love him, no matter the time and that you sometimes think of him in special moments. That’s what counts. That you forgot an anniversary just shows that you moved on. You had fun, living your own life.”

“Living my own life, alright”, Lance snapped. 

“Exactly that is the problem. I’m doing _my_ stuff, thinking about what _I_ want when I shouldn’t. You know why my father died? He had Huntington’s chorea. In the end he couldn’t talk properly anymore and just lay in bed.

I could live with that though, with the fact that he wouldn’t play with my little siblings anymore or help me with homework. What I couldn’t bear was when the dementia started. 

He forgot more and more of what we all had done together, the trips and vacations, the Christmas dinners with my abuela, even sometimes our names. 

And in the end he couldn’t remember the birth of our youngest anymore. He forgot that Sofía existed. He forgot his own daughter.”

Lance had almost breathed the last sentences, tears flowing endlessly.

Hunk felt his own eyes water at that revelation.

“It’s heritable”, Lance said after a long while and Hunk was a bit confused about what he meant.

“Huntington’s chorea”, he cleared and then continued.

“There’s six of us. My older brother Mateo, my older sister Bianca, me and the youngest girls Alessandra, Noa and Sofía. We all could have it”, he said with a small laugh and Hunk could feel how utterly despaired the boy in front of him was.

After another pause Lance sighed once again as if he had to gather strength to continue.

“My family is from Cuba. My parents went to live in the states where they got us. My dad had a garage and my mum went cleaning in the neighbourhood to get some extra money in and it was okay. 

I don’t care what others say about big families like ours, I would never swap. Family is everything for me and I had an amazing childhood.

But after my dad was ill everything changed. Mum took over the garage. And she struggles, I know it. The people know what happened and remained our customers but life was just harder after that. Not as funny. Or light-hearted. 

Mum thought about going back to Cuba. We would have gotten help from all our relatives and she only didn’t do it because we all had our friends and school and everything there. I’ve only been there a few times because of family celebrations but none of us kids would have wanted to go.

My mum is an unbelievingly strong woman. I look up to her. She keeps going because of her kids but every time I visit she looks so tired.”

Lance swallowed. His tears had dried on his face, the salt clinging to it.

“Almost nobody knows but whenever I’m over I almost don’t come back. I just- I want to help her so badly but I’m just not useful. My older siblings study medicine and economics, they make something out of their lives, something that will help our mum and sisters, that will pay the bills and make their life easier. My job wish has no future.

And you know? They will make my parents, my mum and my dad, wherever he is now, proud. But I’m just a failure. My marks never were as good as theirs, I got into trouble in school and I only got my parents’ bad traits anyway. 

My mum’s temperament and stubbornness and my dad’s bad jokes and jealousy. And to top it all off I’ll probably get Huntington’s chorea and will go like my dad.

Oh! And then I also like boys in a way society says I shouldn’t and my parents never really understood my sexuality. They didn’t react really negatively but they never actively supported me either. I guess they always thought it was just a phase.

And so, Hunk Garrett, I’ll never be more than average and it kills me because I wanted better for my parents but I can’t give them what they want or need in a son.”

Hunk gulped.

“I don’t know what to say. Or if you expect me to say anything at all”, Hunk said and Lance scratched at his neck, looking unsure. Hunk took a breath and tried to collect his thoughts.

“You lived through some really hard and burdensome stuff, Lance. So much so that you now try to find the blame in you. I know what you mean when you say your siblings will be helpful for your mum. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be. 

Money is one thing, but emotional support is the other. If I learned one thing about you tonight it’s that you are protective and caring towards your family and I’m sure that this is what your mum needs most now.

Yes, you could have chosen a path with a safe end, a job you can make money with. But that’s just not your path. You’re only her son, Lance, not her provider. 

I’m sure your dad would want you to be right here where you are now. Doing what you want. Getting happy. Forgetting about his day of death if it means that you can let go.”

By now Lance had started crying again, the tears sliding down his salty cheeks, his mouth a downward curve, lips pressed together to not let out the sob that was threatening to come out. 

The one that wanted to tell Hunk that he was so moved by him trying again and again to soothe Lance, to make him happy again. The one that wanted to show him how grateful he was. The one that wanted to say ‘ _I love you_ ’.

“Lance, you couldn’t be average even if you tried. And you aren’t dumb. You are one of the most caring, clever and spectacular people on earth. I am so lucky I got to meet you”, Hunk concluded and Lance couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He let all the tears and the sounds out, crying louder than he had in years but it was all too much. The anger and grief, the sadness and despair, the relief and love – it all had to come out, pour out of Lance so he could breathe freely again at last. 

Hunk pulled him closer again and Lance crawled half into Hunk’s lap to cry into his big and soft shoulder. Hunk’s face felt like it was getting warmer at that display but he said nothing and threw an arm around Lance’s waist, holding him close again.

After a few minutes of Lance shaking against him, he pulled back, his cheeks puffy from all the crying, his eyes red, his hair a bit tousled and a few wet strains across his face. But the expression on his face was determined.

Before Hunk could do anything Lance swooped down and their lips met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that nobody here feels offended because I made Lance's dad die of Huntington's chorea. I don't claim to know enough about this disease which is why I left it as vague as possible here. I won't get back to that topic in the future I guess but it was important for this chapter and Lance's character.
> 
> If you're wondering where the others are during this: it'll get explained.


	8. Chapter 8

Pidge didn’t know what to do with their hands. Put them on your thighs – no, fold them in your lap – cross your arms in front of you – no, too closed off, maybe start dabbing – _fuck, where did_ that _come from?!_

Allura was currently getting another drink, bending over the desk and Pidge couldn’t help staring at her long legs in those [mermaid fishnets](http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/il_fullxfull1180178599_91sj-59105d44ef8e5__880.jpg). Allura was always so creative with her clothing, Pidge felt like a little kid compared to her.

She was just so sure in her style and the way she dressed and her movements were so sensual and fluid as if she was sliding through water instead of traffic poisoned air.  
Pidge wished they would gain this confidence one day. To be able to be themselves without feeling the need to explain. To explain their choices, their thoughts and appearance and just feel natural.

Finding yourself in this world was harder when you found yourself in something society said didn’t exist. And you simply couldn’t shake off everything you had been told like dead leaves in autumn.

It was a slow process of resisting the easy temptation of giving in and living like everyone else. Pidge sometimes found themselves occasionally misgendering themselves, muttering terms out of the binary system to themselves before realising what they had done.

On bad days the tears threatened to come out and they slumped into a corner, feeling like the traitor and the betrayed at the same time. Feeling like not even they understood themselves. And they really didn’t.

They only knew that it wasn’t as easy as male and female for them and they knew that they cared, that it was an important revelation.

Allura came back, Vodka Orange in hand and interrupted Pidge’s inner monologue by sitting down way too close to them. Pidge felt their hands getting sweaty.

“So Pidge, we hadn’t had a chance to really talk. Tell me about yourself”, Allura easily said while propping herself up on one hand, the other one swaying slightly so her drink danced around in her glass. She had so much style.

Pidge hadn’t felt more nervous in their life than in this moment or more pathetic at what came out of their mouth as an answer.

“Mh, well, I like peanut butter and I like peanut butter cookies but I hate peanuts, they’re so dry. Also I sweat a lot, ah I mean in general, unrelated to the peanuts.”

Pidge could have died the second they finished speaking. But Allura just laughed.

She shook her head back, bushy hair swaying and snorted, last of which made her look less elegant than normal but more human and Pidge appreciated that. It didn’t make them crush any less though, maybe even more if possible.

But while Allura had laughed, which was probably a good sign – it had been a genuine (and beautiful) one, not a heartless cackling as if she was making fun of Pidge – it didn’t make them any less uncomfortable because Allura had obviously thought Pidge was making a joke, a witty remark. But they were not.

Allura’s eyes sparkled when she spoke.

“I have a theory that has to do with this request. Either the person’s answer bores or entrances you. It’s an immediate thing. You know if you want to get to know them better or not. And I definitely want to get to know you better”, she smirked.

Pidge sighed with relief. In their mind.

“It’s just, most people are frightened of this question. They don’t know what the other person expects to hear as you can answer with pretty much anything. And most people try to act vague in the beginning of a conversation. They have small talk, they address save topics, they don’t risk anything. It’s refreshing to meet someone who does.”

“Well…”, Pidge didn’t want Allura to think something of them they were not. Even if it made them look embarrassing in front of her, then so be it.

“I didn’t say that because I am cool or anything. I just blurted it out. I can be really awkward when talking to new people,” they admitted sheepishly.

_Especially to those I have a crush on._

It seemed Allura was nicer than she was supposed to be though.

“Then you seem to be a very honest person”, she chuckled.

Pidge thought that this was so unfair. They didn’t deserve this friendliness Allura was pouring on their head. They were awkward and bitter and ugly and difficult and Allura was just wow. In every aspect.

“Not on purpose”, Pidge rose their left eyebrow. They always did that when people estimated them differently than they did themselves.

“How do you do that!”, Allura suddenly leaned forward, eyes wide.

“I have been trying all my life to raise a single eyebrow instead of both but I can’t seem to get it right.”

She frowned, her eyes looking at the ceiling as she wriggled her eyebrows, seemingly trying to will one of them up and the other one down. Pidge had to laugh. She looked adorable.

Allura looked at Pidge with their eyes closed, dimples forming on their cheeks. She smiled a small smile without them noticing.

“I have literally no idea how I do it, I’m sorry. My mum swears I was born with a raised eyebrow”, they chuckled.

“So there’s a mum. Dad? Siblings?”

“Yes and yes. A brother.”

“What are they doing?”

“Okay, okay, what is this? Police questioning?”, Pidge smiled. They hoped it didn’t show that they were nervous and decided to turn this away from them.

“What about _your_ parents?”

Allura hesitated a second before she answered.

“They are dead…No, don’t give me that look and don’t apologize! I’m not grief-stricken, it’s alright. I never knew my mum and my dad was killed in a shooting when I was little. He was a police man. I got raised by my uncle. He’s like a father to me, I felt complete growing up with him. Sooo…another topic?”

“Um”, Pidge was taken aback. Allura was even stronger a woman than Pidge had thought.

“Nice weather, isn’t it?”, they said ironically and Allura laughed again.

“Not the topic I had anticipated but I will give you that bit of small talk. Yes, the weather is very, very nice”, she grinned.

“What kind of topic was on your mind?”, Pidge asked genuinely. This didn’t go as smoothly as they had anticipated but they weren’t good with social interactions anyway so they weren’t surprised. Fishing for something to talk about was still awkward though. Pidge supposed when they honestly showed how they felt it would go alright.

“I suppose I was thinking of something a little more personal? We have a lot in common,” Allura clarified.

“Like what?”, Pidge couldn’t hide their bitter tone completely. _You are a rose and I am weed_ , they left unsaid.

“Well, we both go to the same university, are in our best years and currently the only girls in this room.”

Ouch.

Exactly what Pidge had hoped to leave out at least for tonight. They hoped they hadn’t cringed outwardly because they sure as hell had on the inside.

“I’m, um”, Pidge hesitated. Were they really going to do that? Have that conversation with their crush now?

“not a girl”, they finished.

Allura frowned, then they eyebrows shot up.

“Ooohhh”, she breathed and Pidge cringed inwardly. Again.

“No, no, no, not what you think. I’m not a boy, I don’t have a penis or anything, um. Alright. This is hard.”

Pidge squeezed their eyes shut and tried to find a way to begin. It was one thing to accept transgenders – which wasn’t common in this society either, Jesus, there was so much work in this society to do still – but at least it was easier to comprehend if someone changed to the other one of the two genders everyone knew existed instead of moving on to something entirely new to the majority of earth.

“I wasn’t born in the wrong body, if that’s what you think. No matter which way you look at it. This doesn’t have to do with my body or genitals – well, not completely. It’s something else.”

Allura frowned again.

“I don’t think I understand.”

“I don’t expect you to but…I just don’t feel like a girl although everyone thinks I am one. And it just happens that I also don’t feel like a boy. I feel like neither.”

“How is that…what does that mean? You got to be something, or not?”

Allura looked deeply puzzled and Pidge felt their stomach drop.

“No, I don’t. I want to be someone, not something.”

“That’s not what I meant! Sorry, I didn’t want to be rude but I still don’t really get what you are saying. You have to be one or the other. Boy or girl. I mean, your genitals-“

“I told you they have nothing to do with it”, Pidge interrupted her maybe a bit too impatient already.

“It’s a state of mind. What you mean is the biological aspect. That’s not the gender, that’s the sex. I am biologically female. But I don’t _feel_ female. In my head, my soul, however you want to phrase it.”

Allura still looked unsure but she didn’t try to say anything, she wanted to hear Pidge out first and they were thankful for it.

“See, gender is a social construct. Since you were little you got taught what a girl plays with, how she dresses or what colours she likes. The same for boys. There a gender roles assigned to male and female. And I just can’t agree with it.

I don’t feel like a girl, I don’t want to belong to the girls. And I don’t want to belong to the boys either. In school when they let the girls play against the boys in PE I almost got sick. They expected of me to decide when I would rather have stayed out of it.”

“But”, Allura slowly said when Pidge took a break.

“When you say you don’t agree with the gender roles…you don’t have to. You can be a girl and like blue instead of pink and play with different toys, we are in the 21st century now and can emancipate ourselves.”

Pidge sighed. It was just so frustrating to try and explain.

“And yet I still don’t feel like a girl. I don’t want to put labels on myself when they don’t fit. Labels can make you feel save, I get that but sometimes they just aren’t right. Call me a nerd, a meme lord, a computer freak and peanut butter lover. That’s me, can’t deny it. But girl? No.

And I still can use a label. There are many people who feel like me and terms to describe them. I stick to ‘agender’. I’m not a girl, I’m an agender.”

Allura looked like she thought this through.

“I try to understand it Pidge, I really do but it’s hard to do so. I just don’t get how you are feeling. I got raised a certain way and it isn’t easy to just forget about that.”

“Let me put it differently. It’s like with sexuality. Generations before us got told homosexuality is a sin, isn’t valid. That’s how they got raised. Today that seems to be super stupid to us. It isn’t the norm but it is still normal. And you can’t do anything about it.

You love who you love and you can’t change that. You might want to in order to get accepted but you can’t. It’s a feeling and you can’t manipulate a feeling. It’s the same with me and my gender identity. And you don’t have to get it, I told you. I just want you to respect it.”

Allura swallowed.

“That hit home”, she muttered.

“What?”, Pidge looked up at her.

“The example with homosexuality. You are right.”

She smiled sadly.

“We don’t have it easy and you don’t have either. It makes sense when you look at history like that. And humans always have got to repeat it, haven’t they? What a sad world…I’m going to inform myself some more. I can’t promise to understand it, but I’ll try to be respectful.”

Pidge looked at their legs and smiled.

“I’m tired. It’s been nice talking to you, it was fun”, Allura met Pidge’s eyes.

“But when I look around…”

She scanned the room. Keith and Shiro were sitting close to each other and seemed to play some kind of drinking game while Hunk and Lance sat on Lance’s bed, faces drawn close to each other.

“…I think there isn’t enough space for me here for the night.”

Allura raised her eyebrows. Both of them. Pidge laughed.

“Yeah, well, it’s pretty gay in here.”

“Don’t tell me, I can see it. Do you want to come over to my room, I share it with two other girls but you can still sleep there if these lovebirds are too much for you. Or you could always go back when it’s save.”

“Not necessary. Thanks for the offer but it’s alright. I can’t sleep yet anyway and I’m going to throw them out when I want to. It was nice to have you over.”

Pidge blushed. They had made it this far and now they had to blush. Damn it.

“Okay. I’m going to head out then.”

Allura turned to the door and opened it. Then she turned around again.

“Oh and Pidge? You _are_ cool. No matter what you think, you are really cool.”

She winked at Pidge and then left the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheeewww that took me longer than anything else. Partly because I was lazy the past weeks and getting into the story again was kinda hard (I'm still so fucking in love with it though, don't get me wrong) and partly because the agender talk™ is important to me as I am an agender too. It's a big issue in this story sooooo I hope I don't bore you but it's gonna be talked about in other chapters as well


End file.
